N & C
'I survive alone,'
has been huge for me.
By my side, is Christiane...
Creator - Detailer
"I don't want to work with you." Christiane would often say over the years. Of course I married her because I thought we'd be great working together!
Our journey is thirteen years young today as I write 2020. For me it's been learning about each other, me changing and of letting go of pre-conceived, 'it'll be like this' ideas. Me breaking free of my past. Work in progress but getting there.
It's not been easy for C. I can seek to make you walk away from me, to fulfill my script of being alone. We have both stayed and now we face a tremendous challenge as immigrants in a new land. I am starting again and I am starting to see the privilege in that and the adventure. You can watch the film of people trying to make it, or you can be the film. Feels like we're in the movie right now in many ways...
Christiane is a deep, wise, beautiful woman who has skills complimentary to mine. We break it down as:
Me - Creator
She - Detailer
C is a creator in her own right as photographer, singer, actress . But she is also, with that 'eagle eye' the best proof reader on the planet. The only reason you will find a spelling mistake will be because I haven't asked her to proof something! Let me know if you find anything please.
Perhaps Christiane is learning to cope with her maverick, searching, driven, crazy man... Living in perpetual risk that would break many and alongside me bringing up our amazing boy.
I think she will have a story to tell at some point.
As a friend said to Christiane, "you are an angel." I concur.
And I no longer survive alone, it was always a lie, it was always a script, it was always to protect myself from the inevitability of you leaving me. And that is not so.